Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize