Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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