Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
