I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
