She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
