sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Buhtt sex?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
