I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize