my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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