also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
