Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
