Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
