win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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