i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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