Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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