When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
