like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wish you could order shots online.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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