what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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