I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
