Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
