you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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