Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
