I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Everclear isn't food dammit
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
