I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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