i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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