Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
