I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
