Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
