I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
