I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
