Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
