You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
