Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
