I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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