Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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