I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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