He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
