white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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