I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
