Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
