He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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