Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
