you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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