Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
