69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
