honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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