names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
