So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
