I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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