Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
