anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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