Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
