Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize