U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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