They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
im about as happy as oj after his trial
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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