508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
