it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
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