it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
