There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think my fart just growled at me.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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