Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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