....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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