Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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