All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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