I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
please come you make the beer taste better
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
